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Category Archives: XYZ Coaching

XYZ Coaching is the name of this category. Coaching is so vital for personal and professional growth, exposing the recipient to new awareness, leanring, knowledge, and competence. This category provides articles to help you successfully navigate through the transitions of life.

Organizational Intelligence: Confronting a Fear-based Working Environment

Employed as a leadership coach for various organizations over the past two years I encountered many working environments; some great, some good, and unfortunately, some bad ones. The one most demoralizing is the fear-based working environment. You know that place of employment, where there’s little to no motivation to passionately pursue and expand organizational goals. The problem isn’t the employee but leadership’s inability to foster respect and build trust. In a fear based one working environment, the leader (manager or owner) controls with fear, creating negative vides in the workplace. This type of environment is challenging to say the least. In an economy like ours (December 2009), it is much more difficult for any employee to leave their job for a better work setting, so they stick around hoping for any kind of change. Like the movie, The Matrix, it’s like being caught in a never ending simulated reality; once you’re in it, you can’t leave. If you do leave, you have to get at the end of line, and wait for weeks, even months to be called for an interview. So what‘s an employee to do? The ideas presented in this blog post will help you navigate through this kind of working environment.

In a fear based working environment employees’ walk on eggshells wondering when the leader will show up to reprimand someone publically. I personally witnessed this scenario first hand many times. I remember a situation where employees were doing their jobs when suddenly the owner appears, standing quietly in a corner unannounced, watching to see if anyone says or does something slightly out of line. As soon as employees’ became aware of this person’s presence the atmosphere changed, giving each other “the look”, as if, “Be aware, she’s here!” As the owner walked around, the employees became quiet, perhaps hoping she would not choose any of them to pick on.

On other occasions, procedures or systems were changed simply by the owner’s whim or because a client-customer made passing comment or mild complaint. Instead of keeping or making a slight adjustment to a working system, a whole new system was devised and implemented. And most critical of all, reprimands were too often made in the open or in meetings, not in a private office.

Liz Ryan, author of Ten Signs of a Fear Based Workplace notes:

Fear shuts down our ability to think creatively, collaborate, and bring passion to the job. When getting through the day requires a focus on keeping one’s head down, taking no risks, and sucking up to anyone in management, your organization’s soul has left the picture.”

A fear-based working environment is difficult to change, since the owner/leader is set in his or her ways. Insecure leaders who think critically of others, rather than optimistically breed fear. Weak employees, who fear confronting the obvious elephant in the room, would rather put up with it, keeping the status quo. A leader creating this type of environment is usually caught in trap; to change would mean he or she would have to admit they have been managing wrongly, and would need to change their ways. So the struggle to achieve excellent working cultures stalls organizational effectiveness, even quenching the human spirit.

How does one confront such a leader? The best way to do this is through group confrontation, where several respected, tenured and highly qualified employees approach the leader in private with a short list of observations. What is a leader to do, fire this elite group? If a leader has any sense he or she should receive this honest feedback to gain respect required to lead effectively, then create the changes needed to transform themselves and their working environments.

What are other suggestions required to turn this type of working environment around? 

 
 

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Ten Strategies for Empowering Latino Youth

It’s time for Latino/Hispanics to set aside their “cultural lens” and see life through a different one. The one I am referring to is the “success lens”. I am personally exhausted hearing the same ‘ol lingo from family, friends and casual conversations at networking events, “That’s how Latinos do it!”, or “A si somos”, meaning that there’s a settled way of doing things in our culture. This is cultural pride, and that’s the central core of this issue… cultural pride keeps our community stuck in a cycle of mediocrity. It’s time to put off the old, and put on new thinking. So what do young Latinos need to know to succeed? I was contemplating this question for awhile on a Saturday afternoon as I watched a game of college football. The following strategic tools emerged before me to empower Latino youth:

1. Become a Christian 
Jesus said, “You must be born-again“, meaning that you must have a spiritual encounter with the Savior who can transform the way you think, act, and live. Therefore, seek to know God personally (not religiously), and make Him known to others. Spirituality should be your top priority since it’s key to awakening your inner person. Many Latinos are stuck in religion; we must move away from that mold and seek the true lover of our souls.

2. Learn and master the English language
Learn to write effectively and communicate well. Don’t be shy to take classes that challenge your verbal development such as speech class, debate, and rhetoric. Speech class in college helped me overcome my fears in speaking in front of others. I’m so thankful for that class.

3. Find your passion and life mission
You must ponder and answer these questions: Why am I here? What was I created to do? Develop a life mission statement, something that will guide you and direct your decision making. Here’s a glimpse at mine:

I was created to help others find their niche and passion in life; to develop them to display their fullest potential.

It’s simple yet tells people that I love personal development and helping others find their place in life. Second, your passion is what energizes you to do what you do best each day. When you’re passionate, it’s like there is no difference in days; a Monday is like a Friday because you love what you do. Combined, your “mission” and “passion” are powerful tools for personal engagement, and engaging others.

4. Discover and cultivate your innate gifts and abilities
You must ask yourself: What are my strengths? The Gallup Organization conducted a 25 year study and discovered 34 innate strengths common in people. The test reveals your top 5 signature themes. You can take an Online test to discover and develop your personal gifts. Go to this link: http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx . Yes, there is a small cost but its worth the investment.

5. Find good mentors
Find mentors who will help you think critically. Mentors who will teach you “how” to think, not “what” to think and believe. Usually, youth pastors make good mentors.

6. Build your relational network early
A network can be your school, church and place of employment. Make friends horizontally (your peers and co-workers), and vertically (your teachers, coaches, employers, etc.) When you graduate from High School keep a list of teachers and administrators who made a difference in your life, and stay in touch with them. You’ll never know if you’ll need them in the future to provide you with a reference or open a door. Don’t forget to foster new relationships while managing old ones. Relationships are key to your success!

7. Develop your character
Character is developed over a lifetime of choices, so start early in life; speak well of others, learn to love others, and respect them even if you disagree with them. Ask others, like your mentors, to speak into your life, provide feedback and check your blind spots periodically.

8. Learn and practice generosity
Learn to give your time, talent and personal treasures away to others. Freely you have received, freely give. A generous person never has to worry about the lack of supply. What you sow you shall reap. Generosity is basically living with an opened hand.

9. Never stop learning
Some people develop pride and think they “know it all”. Therefore, be a life time learner, read books, leadership journals, magazines, listen to audio tapes of great leaders. Don’t settle for mediocrity but strive for personal excellence. Learn from others, even if they are younger than you. Build a personal culture of a learner. 

10. Seek to be affluent and influential
When you seek to become affluent (having money) and influential (impacting others), you won’t have to count on government to take care of you, and you will be able teach others to be self-sufficient. Don’t allow others to make you think wealth is “wicked” or that the “wealthy” are greedy. Those who point to “greed” are full of envy themselves, don’t listen to them. Class warfare causes unnecessary divisions. Wealth is a biblical concept. God meant for you to have money. Godly people like Abraham, King David, King Solomon and countless others were wealthy individuals. God meant for you to have wealth and be influential. However, don’t let the love of money control your life. You must control your desire for only money since “the love of money of the root of evil” but building personal wealth is critical to your viability. 

Can you add your wisdom to this list?

 
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Posted by on November 5, 2011 in The Family, XYZ Coaching

 

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3 Definitive Tests of Intregrity

When I think of the word integrity, immediately the biblical story of Joseph comes to mind. This story is found in the book of Genesis, chapters 37 to 45 – it’s worth a concentrated read. In this story, three major challenges were encountered by Joseph that would test and measure his integrity; his worth as a person. I have presented these three tests in question form for your consideration. Let’s see if you can pass the definitive tests of integrity:

1. Does your integrity waiver when everyone around you is against you?
Joseph, the youngest among a band of 11 brothers, was envied, verbally abused, scorned, rejected and sold into slavery by his brothers after he shared a few stories about how the others would bow before him and serve him. Simply put, his brothers’ couldn’t stand the youngest and most favored son of their father to rule over them. Joseph became so annoying to them that when they found a place and opportune time to get rid of him, they did, by selling him as a slave to a caravan heading toward Egypt.

What would you do to save your life in this situation? Would you renounce your dreams, change or stop telling your story to preserve your life? Many perhaps would, only a few would allow the hand of Providence to have its way in time. Joseph did not sell out his dream, even when everyone around him was against him. This is integrity.

2. When you are falsely accused, do you try to clean it up?
As a slave in the land of Egypt, Joseph landed a position as a steward, as overseer and manager of his master’s house, meaning his was the executor of his master’s business dealings and wealth. This position placed Joseph in his master’s estate; close to his personal belongings and his family, even his wife. His master’s wife had something for Joseph for quite some time, she wanted to have sex with him. One day, when her husband went away on a business trip, she saw her opportunity to seduce Joseph; by accident Joseph found himself alone with his master’s wife. She tried to force him to come to bed with her but he refused turning his back on her, he fled out the door in a hurry. As he fled she managed to grab a hold of his garment, tearing it off of him. She was then left with a piece of Joseph’s property, so she devised a plot to accuse him falsely. When her husband arrived from his trip, she told him a lie to get even with Joseph for not sleeping with her. Surely, she was covering up her own lust and intentions toward Joseph. Joseph’s master was angry and had him put in prison.

When you are falsely accused, would you try to clean up the mess to set the record straight? Would you lawyer up? Joseph loved his master, and did not want to make this incident a public disgrace for him, so he kept quiet and allowed Providence to have its proper course. Many would try to get out of it but Joseph kept quiet, trusting that a just God would soon vindicate him.

3. Once you gain a position of power over those who’ve hurt you in the past, do you try to get even?
Much later, after Joseph’s troubles were over, he found favor in Pharaoh’s eye. So Pharaoh promoted him to a position of great influence over Egypt. He was responsible over food allocations for the country, and eventually after a severe famine that took hold in the region, he became even more significant to the world. Joseph had risen to the top; no one had this kind of power except Pharaoh. Egypt was the economic power of the world at that time, and Joseph was given status to rule and administer the food portions to the world. But Joseph had one more test to go through; he needed to be reconciled to his brothers who had sold him into slavery. One day his brothers came to ask for food, since the land of Canaan had severe famine. To make my story short, Joseph’s brothers encountered Joseph twice but did not know who Joseph was since he had changed physically over time, and perhaps with Egyptian garb he became less detectable. Joseph needed to forgive his brothers, and he did, even though he had enormous powers to do as he pleased with them. Joseph kept his integrity intact through this whole process. Forgiveness was the measure of Joseph’s integrity.

How many of us, in positions of great power over others, could forgive a wrong done to us by those seeking our help?

 

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Everybody Needs a Coach at Some Point

Coaching, in its many forms, is simply creating a trust relationship with someone for the purpose of optimizing relational exchanges, thereby, facilitating learning, building more self-awareness, sharpening personal and leadership skills to produce excellent outcomes.

Coaching transforms lives by giving on the spot real time feedback, where the person being coached can make reasonable choices in the moment to adjust decision-making and behavior. Effective coaching facilitates a person’s transformation by producing new thinking coupled with new actions. If you desire to advance from your current state of “being and doing” you will most certainly need a coach to launch you to the next level. Latino Townhall offers the following coaching services:

Life Coaching: This type of coaching identifies personal restraints, then seeks to build strategies to bring the individual into greater realms of self-awareness and life purpose, so the individual can access and experience living at a higher level.

Leadership Coaching: In the end results matter to your supervisor, shareholders and consumers. To lead others you must gain their respect and trust so you can harness their collective power to garner greater results. A leader must learn to create an environment where team members can be empowered to enhance overall team performance, thus moving the agenda of the organization forward with superiror performance.

Strategic Coaching: Learning to gain perspective is everything! This type of coaching increases strategic thinking and implementation skills, which helps the individual move his or her business in the right direction by going through a three-point process to gain greater depths of perspective; these three perspectives are mastering hindsight, foresight and insight principles.

Transitional Coaching: Many individuals are challenged while transitioning from High School to college, from one job to another, mid-life crises, even transitioning from a career into retirement. Transitional Coaching helps individuals think through the ramifications of transition, then finding solutions for moving with success through these cyclical and common transitions. Transitional Coaching is about understanding and coping with loss, then engaging new strategies as you move into the next phase of your life. The goal of Transitional Coaching is helping individuals experience a “culture shift” rather than a “culture shock” as they move into a new season of their lives.

7 Reasons to Acquire a Coach:
1. Coaching engages your untapped potential.
2. Coaching increases self-awareness.
3. Coaching builds your confidence as a leader.
4. Coaching increases learning capabilities.
5. Coaching sharpens your personal skills.
6. Coaching fine-tunes your social competencies.
7. Coaching takes you to a whole new level in “doing” and “being.”
Email Joel at LatinoTownhall@gmail.com (cut and paste email) for more information.

 
 

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The Integrity Wheel

We should all seek wholeness and emotional health through the proper channels of course. For some of us, the process to become “whole” and “healthy” is discovered through spirituality, counseling or other areas dealing with the inner self, which brings about personal healing, growth and maturity within. In other words, you and I should strive to become a better version of self where all of our parts (spirit, soul and body) function at greater levels of personal performance. I choose the “circle” to exhibit this model since a circle is symbolic of something that is perfect and whole.

The Integrity Wheel is an idea or concept I developed a few years ago to assess one’s personal integrity in four areas, where you and I live and function on a daily basis:

1. Our Private Life
2. Our Personal Life
3. Our Professional Life
4. Our Public Persona

Each level has at least three areas to probe and evaluate (Go to link: Integrity Wheel). For instance, your personal life consists of many things. In my opinion, the most important areas is your marriage and family life, the way you view and practice financial planning, and your transparency (truthfulness, honesty, and openness) within the relationships that are most important in life.

Assessment Questions:

1. Private Life
a). What is your source of truth? Bible, Pagan Philosophy, other texts. Is your truth dynamic or static?

b). Is character important to you? If so, how do you go about cultivating character? Do you have mentors, who you allow to speak into your life? Are you constantly seeking self-improvement or just live day by day?

c). When searching the web, have you ever put your browser on “private settings” to view sexually illicit material? Is keeping your thoughts pure and unsullied important to you? What do you with a lustful thought? 

2. Personal Life
a). How healthy is your marriage? Communication, Intimacy, Resolving Conflict, Openness, etc.

b). Is spending time with your children a priority? Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Annual Vacations. The common cliche’ is “Love is spelled T.I.M.E.?” This infers that time spent with your kids is loving them. I differ, you can spend time with your kids and have a true connection with them. How do you spell LOVE?

c). How do you view debt, and financial planning? What’s your view of wealth? 

3. Professional Life
a). How close are you with other employees, direct reports, even your supervisor at work? Are you relationships improving? Do you avoid opportunities to grow in your relationships?

b). Is speaking out for just causes and doing things right important to you at work? Do you cut corners to get work accomplished? 

c). Is there a secret relationship developing in your life at work (emotional affair, flirtatious relationshp, etc.) Does your wife know about the “opposite sex” relationships in your workplace?

4. Public Persona
a). How involved are you with your community; neighbors, civic organizations, etc.? What do these people say about you behind your back?

b). Reputation: How do you build one? How important is having one out in public life?

c). What’s your involvement in your “house of worship”? Would people in this setting vouch for your reputation?

Take a few moments to reassess your integrity. The quality of your life just may depend on this assessment.
___________
The Integrity Wheel, all rights reserved (c)2008 by Joel Garcia, Founder and President of Latino Townhall, Inc.

 

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The Dimensional Leader – An Introduction

This book, The Dimensional Leader, introduces and examines the three dimensions of leadership, which any person in a leadership role should cultivate in their life. As spatial dimensions contain three aspects; depth, width, and height so does the dimensional leader. The Three Dimensions of Leadership contains the essential qualities of character, competence and communication. David was the consummate dimensional leader as he displayed these qualities in his life from his inaugural scene when he fought Goliath in 1 Samuel 17, then throughout the remainder of his life as the king of Israel. His leadership legacy is summed up in Psalm 78:72 where the dimensional model is revealed. This passage simply states:

And David shepherded them with integrity of heart [character]; with skillful hands [competence] he led [communication] them.

This passage of scripture could have been written as David’s epitaph; a one sentence summation of his leadership legacy. Any thoughtful reader of this passage should pause for a moment and ponder its substance looking for its hidden treasures. It won’t take you very long before the hidden gems burst forth revealing several leadership qualities effective leaders must possess and master.

Also, by reading the subtitle The Leadership Strategies of a Shepherd Boyyou may have asked yourself, “What can a shepherd boy teach me about leadership?” The answer is simple, this shepherd boy has already taught us how to think and act as a dimensional leader. When we read about David’s great triumph over Goliath we simply bypass two previous encounters – Eliab, David’s eldest brother and King Saul. David navigated through these two individuals to get to his ultimate goal – that of confronting the behemoth and wiping away the reproach from Israel. What leader, in this case a king, would have ever allowed a boy to fight a giant? Was the situation so desperate where King Saul was willing to try the unconventional?

There are times in our lives where you and I have said things like, “I want to be like so and so.” However, we do not realize the price it took for a person to achieve their level of success. Somehow we bypass those elements of personal sacrifice and testing that have shaped their character. We have the tendency to look upon those who have succeeded as one of God’s favorite kids who were given a free pass to greatness and success; somehow everything was handed over to them on a silver platter. This way of thinking is not realistic or fair to those who have achieved a level of greatness among us.

Greatness comes with a price tag. In other words anyone who has ever had some legacy worth talking about had to breakthrough and overcome many barriers in their life, which catapulted them to their current station. It may be that they were willing to confront the fear, which limited and regulated them to a mediocre and mundane life. Champions have succeeded because they somehow were able to cross what I call the lines of resistance.

A line of resistance is a force seen or unseen, which works against you to constrain you, to impose a limitation by restricting you from achievement. These forces are meant to check you from reaching a critical goal. A line of resistance is also a roadblock or barrier to stop you from moving forward. A line of resistance can eventually create a mindset or even generate a negative attitude limiting you from accessing and pursuing your goals, to the point of discouraging you from actualizing your true potential and purpose in life. In the natural realm, a line of resistance can come from the people around you. In the spiritual realm the lines of resistance arise from dark forces, most notably Satan and his hoard of demons. In a personal sense, many lines of resistance already exist within our fallen nature producing destructive patterns. At other times your lines of resistance can be produced when something dramatic occurs in your past where a negative history was created. This negative event in your life may have produced an insecurity rooted in fear. If this is true you begin to build an image about yourself, which is not based on reality.

David, the shepherd boy, was confronted by three people and each one tried to restrict and limit him in some manner from succeeding on his mission; they attempted to create lines of resistance in his life. One person was Eliab, David’s older brother, the second person was King Saul, the leader of the nation; the third person was his archenemy—Goliath the Philistine giant. The following three people attempted to create or impose lines of resistance in David’s life:
1. Eliab – David’s brother represents the line of criticism.
2. King Saul – David’s leader represents the line of authority.
3. Goliath – David’s archenemy represents the line of fear and intimidation.

The lines of resistance can be self-imposed or they can come from well meaning people like our close friends or family members. For instance, someone can give you erroneous counsel diverting you down the wrong road from your destiny for many years. This is why parents, mentors, clergy, and others play a pivotal role in developing and directing the lives of young people. If we “buy in” into these limitations we can end up living on the wrong side of the tracks instead of what could be—a life filled with abundance. What can be possible in your life? Have you ever taken an inventory of your life to find out what can be possible? Have you ever challenged yourself to break out of the old mindsets that keep you where you are?

This book will challenge you to identify, confront and traverse over those debilitating lines of resistance that have kept you from experiencing a life above and beyond your true and rightful potential; a life of abundance that Jesus promised to all of us.

This book will help you understand how to become a dimensional leader, one who displays the multifaceted leadership dimensions of character, competence and communication. If a pubescent shepherd boy by the name of David can cross these three critical lines and walk into his destiny at an early age so can you at any age.

I will address how David broke through the limiting mindsets of those who attempted to hinder him on his pathway toward his destiny. It is time for you to break out of those limiting mindsets and habits that restrict you so that you can break forth into your future and enjoy the rest of your life!

Joel Garcia

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2011 in XYZ Coaching

 

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Chapter 1 – The Lines of Resistance

Persistence conquers all things.
- Benjamin Franklin 

A Story Line

One of my favorite movies of all time has to be Walk the Linestarring Joaquin Phoenix and Reece Weatherspoon, playing the roles of Johnny Cash and June Carter respectively. I purchased the movie soundtrack when the movie came out on DVD. The reason for this immediate buy-in was Johnny’s determination to overcome several obstacles in his life starting with his drug addiction, then his battle to gain the love, respect and acceptance of his father. I detected some similarities from his life that mirrored my own, with the exception of the music and singing of course.

Among the obstacles in his life or what I call the lines of resistancewere were his drug abuse and the “father issue.” For example, at one point in the movie there is this scene where John and his friends are drinking beer on a concert stage just hours before an afternoon performance. During this scene June Carter, the consummate professional, walks into the auditorium dressed and ready to perform. She then challenges the tour team to stop drinking and shape up since their current behavior was endangering their ability to perform and finish the tour with dignity and integrity. She became so upset with them, she began to throw empty beer bottles at them exclaiming, “You can’t walk no line” as she walked away from the stage area. She was referring to their drunken stupor and their lackadaisical and carefree behavior, if continued, would bring these public performers to their demise.

Although Johnny Cash was experiencing a promising and successful start in the music industry, he was limiting himself by drinking and “popping the pills.” This behavior was threatening his music career, his public image and his marriage. To be a great and enduring performer at any age you need to be at the top of your game mentally, emotionally and physically. You cannot be on the top of your game while compromising with drugs and alcohol. June Carter was simply conveying a strong message of personal restraint, discipline and integrity so they could continue operating at a high level of excellence. Johnny Cash was jeopardizing and destroying what seemed to be a great start in the lucrative music industry by making poor decisions. In other words, he was not able to “walk the line” in his drug induced condition. It was only later in life that he put his life together and lived a remarkable life as a Christian leaving a legacy of struggle, but also of a person who overcame his personal lines of resistance. Today he is imbedded in the hearts and minds of many Americans as a beloved country music icon.

The question you need to ask yourself is, “Am I doing the right things to ensure that I am ‘walking the line’ towards my destiny?” Are you currently making the right choices to ensure you are following God’s plan for your life? In this book I will show you how you can cross and overcome the lines of resistance that will confront you at some point in your life. We will all face them at some point, but the real question is – do you want to live behnind the lines for the rest of your life or do you want to overcome them? Let’s start by defining what I mean by “lines”; then we will take a look at some examples.

Defining Lines of Resistance

A line is a preset mark, distinguishing a division between two distinct places. Therefore, a line can be a threshold of new beginnings or it can be a place of resistance where an opposing force comes against you attempting to restrict and hinder your forward movement. A line of resistance is something that opposes and keeps you in a limited, and fixated position; a place where you feel constrained and impeded. We all live with some personal limitations whether we impose them upon ourselves or their imposition comes from our insecurities, our personal fears, our personal history, our lack of knowledge and experience.

Lines of resistance can also be attributed when others attempt to impose them upon us. For instance, a comment out of line like, “Joe, you will never amount to anything!” can be a demeaning and hurtful statement impacting you for some time. Some children will grow up emotionally crippled by these words while others will use them as the means of motivation to prove their nemesis wrong. Each one of us will interpret life’s inconsistencies and cruelties differently than others, but the lingering effects of those words will have been deposited and embedded deep within us, which will attempt to limit us in some way.

There are other names for lines such as personal constraints or lids. Whatever you want to call them we will encounter lines of resistance sometime throughout our lives. To accentuate my point let me familiarize you with some fun and interesting examples that will convey my point about the lines of resistance:

> In baseball you have a baseline and a line that marks a home run. Nine innings is the line for an entire game unless the two teams have equal scores requiring extra innings. To win games you have to become a great team who is skilled in both offense and defense, hitting and pitching respectively. The lines of resistance can be anything like the distance of the field, the wind factor, pitching prowess, even a capable defense, and your personal limitations of skill and strength.

> In football you have to cross a 10-yard line to get the first down, enough of these put you over another line where you are awarded six points. Then you are given the opportunity to kick the ball between two vertical lines to add an extra point or at times you are awarded three points. However, at each attempt, an equal force of eleven passionate men are trying to “hold the line” by vehemently opposing you. Crossing these lines require personal skill, endurance and strength, coupled with the ability to play effectively with your team members. The lines of resistance are obviously the opposing team, their size, strength and defensive strategies they put in place to limit your forward progress.

> When a man attempts to attract a woman he uses a pick up “line”. When a bad line is used she will let you know that you were “out of line.” You probably need to take some etiquette classes because you lack the necessary social skills to talk to women. The line of resistance here is – AWKWARD! This line is commonly referred to as a respect line.

> There are emotional lines. Some of us can control our temper and keep it at bay while others live life with a short fuse. Angry people do not seem to have many friends. This kind of temperament can turn into a lonely line. Counseling for anger management may not be a bad idea to pursue if you want to overcome this line of resistance.

The line of resistance is meant to constrain you inside a box of limitation. Have you ever heard the cliché, “Think outside of the box”? Well, there are times when we need to take that saying a step further and be determined to “Break out of the box.”  It is not enough to think anymore, at some point you have to take action to break out of your limited condition into a different dimension of wellbeing and doing. Sound thinking is needed to start your breakthrough but your next critical step is taking action to make things happen. Your thinking needs to turn into action at some point so you can produce the results you seek. Desire is a good and commendable starting point but it means nothing without diligence breathing life into your situation, thrusting you forward manifesting a breakthrough. For instance, a person with good communication skills is most likely to be promoted over a person with a low verbal quotient. It could be the person with a low verbal quotient is afraid to speak out in front of people for fear of being ridiculed and rejected by others so they will tend to hold back their opinions, which may be beneficial on a team. This mindset may stem from their personal history where perhaps a teacher or a peer in a classroom setting made fun of that student’s response to a question at some point. This person may now live with a personal constraint line of the fear of speaking in front of others. This scenario can breed insecurity or affirm a fear of speaking in front of others. I know this scenario first hand since I experienced it myself but I don’t live with that limitation anymore. What helped me overcome my fear of speaking in front of others was a speech class I enrolled in at college. It was a safe place for me to learn since everyone else in the classroom was just as nervous as I was to speak in front of others. Over time and exposure I became more confident in my ability to speak in front of people. As an associate pastor at a large church I would often speak in front of small and large audiences. Do I still get nervous before speaking in front of others? Yes, I do at times, but it has become much easier to speak in front of a live audience. Now, my goal is to become a great communicator, who can motivate people and bring transformation to their lives.

A Shepherd Boy’s Experience

In this book I will show you how three different people attempted to restrain the young shepherd named David from achieving his ultimate goal. David possessed such a healthy self-image of himself that none of these lines of resistance affected him in any negative way. He was able to hurdle over these three lines of resistance with ease. If he overcame these hurdles with ease then we must ask and answer these questions, “How did he do it?”, and “Am I able to do it?” In this book you will learn how he accomplished your personal mission by using strategies of a shepherd boy. You will become that renowned and loved hero we so desparately need today.

We all possess some personal constraint lines, again, whether imposed by our own personal history or by someone else. The question is which side of the line are you currently living in? Have you taken the time to identify the lines of resistance that limit you? Once you discover your personal lines that restrain you, what will be your plan to overcome them in your life? There is a place where you can know when you have broken through your lines. It is referred to as the line of demarcation, a place of breakthrough.

The Line of Demarcation

Now let’s look at the word demarcation. It is a word that means to discriminate or discern between two points. To take it a step further, a line of demarcation marks the end of something, and the beginning of something new. It marks the end of the line of resistance and the beginning of a new place of living and experiencing life. Again, I am providing some examples from the sporting realm to accentuate my point:

> In baseball there are lines of demarcation concerning what is and what is not the strike zone. There have been a lot of arguments between umps, pitchers and coaches as to the demarcation of the strike zone; the distinguishing of a pitch from a ball and a strike. In some games umpires can have a low strike zone while in other games the same umpire can call strikes consistently high or inside. When it is a bad call the fans usually let the umpire know. Even the fans have their own line of demarcation when it comes to distinguishing between the lines. In a game situation even the pitcher has to work with the umpire to understand his strike zone and adjust his pitching strategy to it.

> In football when there is a dispute about a fumble the coach on the opposite team will call for a review of the play by throwing a red flag onto the field alerting the referee. Upon viewing and reviewing the call on the field the referee judges whether the knee was down on the ground before the player lost the ball or not. Many times there is a fine line of demarcation to affirm or overturn the call on the field. There has to be conclusive evidence to overturn a standing call on the field. At times I have seen calls that have been overturned and have led to one of the teams losing the game. These calls depend on how the referee judges the line of demarcation. The line of demarcation is often a fine line but one that we have to learn to distinguish if we want our breakthrough.

David and Goliath

A story found in 1 Samuel 17, puts the reader in a setting between two opposing armies. A litteral line was drawn between the two camps, separating their fighting men from one another. The Philistines occupied one side, while the Israelites occupied another. The battle line was the middle ground and for forty days the Philistine giant, would go down to this line to taunt and challenge the Isrealites to a one-on-one duel, winner to take all. The story goes like this:

A champion named Goliath, who was from Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. He was over nine feet tall. He had a bronze helmet on his head and wore a coat of scale armor of bronze weighing five thousand shekels; on his legs he wore bronze greaves, and a bronze javelin was slung on his back. His spear shaft was like a weaver’s rod, and its iron point weighed six hundred shekels. His shield bearer went ahead of him.

Goliath stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, “Why do you come out and line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not the servants of Saul? Choose a man and have him come down to me. If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects and serve us.” Then the Philistine said, “This day I defy the ranks of Israel! Give me a man and let us fight each other.” On hearing the Philistine’s words, Saul and all the Israelites were dismayed and terrified.

For forty days the Philistine came forward every morning and evening and took his stand. (1 Samuel 17: 4-11, 16)

Goliath was challenging King Saul’s best men to a duel; a one-on-one contest that would determine the winner but no one dared to face him; everyone was paralyzed with fear. However this day did not take God by surprise. He provided a way out of a tough place by sending forth His chosen servant. On this particular day the Father above would summon a young boy by the name of David out from the shepherd’s fields and onto the battlefield. On this day David was promoted from childhood to manhood; from working in the pastureland to serving the king in the palace (Psalm 78:70-72). A “shepherd field” was a real place but it also acts as a metaphor that resembles a “womb”; a place where someone is initially developed in order to enter and occupy another dimension of leadership. A shepherd field is a place of preparation, and development to gain the experience needed to perform at another level of service for the Master.

One day, David’s father, Jesse, sent him on a covert assignment to retrieve news about his other three sons on the battlefield. David was assigned to bring back news of their condition. However this covert operation turned into an overt opportunity for David. He found his brothers on the battle line in a serious predicament. The question was, would David cross over into his destiny or stay on the wrong side of the tracks? Biblical history shows that David “walked the line” and won a great victory for Israel. This book explains how he did it.

David’s Three Lines of Resistance

There were actually three lines that David had to cross to distinguish himself from the crowd and as a champion. They were:

1. Eliab’s Line– Eliab represents the line of criticism. Eliab attempted to limit David’s movement by criticizing him severely. When you read through the story of the prophet Samuel’s visit to Jesse’s house to anoint a new king in the place of King Saul most of us would sympathize with Eliab’s emotional state since he was the first one among David’s brother’s to be overlooked as the new replacement (1 Samuel 16:1-14). Something like resentment festered inside Eliab’s heart from this point. Sometime later while he was serving in the king’s army Eliab was still stewing over his rejection and oversight by the prophet. It just so happened Eliab encountered David on the battle lines inquiring about the reward for fighting and defeating the giant. Eliab detested his brother and his actions, which were evident in his words and tone. Any weak minded individual would have been crushed hearing these words from a member of their own family, but David was able to hurdle over Eliab’s criticism and overcame this line of resistance. His brother’s vitriol did not limit David from progressing and accomplishing his mission. He moved onto his next step with distinction and honor. David was brought to the king himself.

2. Saul’s Line– This line represents an authority line; a test of whether David could influence his leader with his warlike abilities. After David’s short dialogue with Saul, David was given permission to face the giant. What leader in his right mind would send a young man to confront an experienced fighter? What did David say to garner the respect and permission of the king? One thing is for sure; David would not have confronted Goliath without the consent of the king. If we are going to face our “Goliath’s” we need to seek after and receive the permission and blessing from those in authority so we can move forward fulfilling our calling and mission in life.

3. Goliath’s Line– Goliath’s line represents the line of fear and intimidation. David may have been oblivious to the unfolding events of this day. As the day unraveled so did the revealing of who David really was. This event propelled him into his life’s purpose that is often called destiny. Before we can possess our destiny we must first confront and pass the test of intimidation. Intimidation and fear will stare you down just before your promotion. It will be the enemy’s last line of resistance to hinder your forward movement and promotion. At this point we have a choice to make, on one side a mediocre life awaits you, but on the other side of the line your destiny also awaits. The reason we were created is within reach it is just one step of obedience away. We were created to rule and extend God’s kingdom on earth using the gifts and abilities that God wove into us. This particular day was David’s day of promotion and he crossed the line of demarcation and walked into his destiny and became known as the one who would slay tens of thousands.

The line of demarcation is a fine line but you will know when you have crossed it because you will have distinguished yourself from the crowd. Are you currently distinguishing yourself from others around you? If you are not then you need to face your lines of resistance and overcome them. If you are then I congratulate you for a job well done. This book explains how you can identify and break the lines of resistance in your life.

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2011 in XYZ Coaching

 

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Chapter 2 – Discovering Eliab

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
– Proverbs 17:17

Eliab – the Elder

Samuel was regarded as a great prophet, priest and judge in the Old Testament. He was highly respected throughout the community of Israel for his prophetic insight, character and integrity. As the prophet of Israel, Samuel’s main responsibility was to hear the voice of God for Israel and dispense these messages to the intended recipient. In this upcoming scenario it was time for a leadership change in Israel since King Saul had proven to be a poor leader. God was preparing Samuel to anoint His new choice for king. God tells the prophet to go to the house of Jesse who lives in Bethlehem and anoint one of his sons as the new king. The problem with this directive was that Jesse had eight sons. Which one would he choose or was it up to him? To Samuel’s surprise it happened to be a young man in his youth, probably in his young to mid teens; twelve to fifteen years old. This is how the story goes:

When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.” But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:6-7)

This Scripture gives us a powerful insight into God’s selection process for leaders. According to this passage the traits mankind tends to look for in their leaders are the outward qualities such as good looks, physical stature, social status, wealth and charisma. These qualities can be seen with the physical eye. Eliab, the eldest of Jesse’s eight sons, was tall, physically trimmed and attractive; qualities desired by the public for a spotlight persona. However when God chooses His leaders He has a different plan in mind than the obvious one. God’s selection and appointment process is quite different from ours. As Jesse’s seven sons where presented before Samuel, he thought for sure God’s choice for a leader stood before him in the person of Eliab. To Samuel’s surprise God quickly checked the Prophet. God looks much deeper into the heart and soul of a man rather than a few external features such as height and appearance. Should we be quick to blame Samuel for his impulsive selection? In the book Blink, Author Malcolm Gladwell states “most of us, in ways that we are not entirely aware of, automatically associate leadership ability with imposing physical stature. We have a sense of what a leader is supposed to look like, and the stereotype is so powerful that when someone fits it, we simply become blind to other considerations.” God does not look at the outer appearance of man to judge a person’s leadership ability rather He looks much deeper within, into the person’s heart to see the character of a person, since His X-ray vision can discern the inner core of a person’s heart and motives. Samuel’s frustration was easily detected when each of Jesse’s seven sons did not make the cut. The narrative continues:

So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?” “There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered, “but he is tending the sheep.” Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.” So he sent and had him brought in. He [David] was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features. Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; he is the one.” So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power. (1 Samuel 16:11-13)

Have you ever been the last person chosen to be on a team? It feels quite demeaning when you are the last one selected. You stand there wondering if the team got stuck with someone they did not want in the first place. In this case God did not choose the most obvious one to be king rather He selected a boy in his teenage years to succeed Saul as the new king. It is noted when David entered Samuel’s presence that a voice reverberated inside Samuel’s mind saying, “Rise and anoint him; he is the one.” This royal christening was done in the presence of Jesse’s seven other sons. Keep in mind that Eliab saw this selection process take place. Eliab was overlooked while his younger brother was anointed and appointed king over Israel. I wonder what went through Eliab’s mind at this point. I believe, within Eliab’s heart and mind, an emotional escalation began to take place, one that could have been controlled if someone had taken the time to help him process his feelings in such a way as to restore Eliab to his proper role in life.

Eliab’s Emotional Escalation

Unprocessed Feelings

The process of elimination in choosing a king and the eventual selection of David left Eliab with unprocessed feelings of rejection, without proper guidance and counseling left these feelings in a raw state. This unresolved hurt opened the door in his life for jealousy. The combination of these feelings escalated to a state of bitterness. Do you blame Eliab? After all he was passed up for the most prestigious position in the known world at that time. In my opinion it would have been devastating and hurtful to a young man looking for his place in the world. Feelings and emotions are a powerful force in our lives, and we need to learn about them so that we can manage them properly. Most of your accomplishments will depend on your ability to manage your emotions.

Anger

Hurt and rejection can lead anyone into a stage of anger if these issues are not processed correctly. Processing our feelings can take time and at times extensive dialogue with others about the origin of our anger. God created us to feel strong emotions and at times our emotions can get out of control but not at the expense of others. If we do not learn how to properly process our feelings then they can easily escalate to the stage of anger and resentment. James, the writer of the epistle bearing his name, claims anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires for our lives (James 1:20). Anger removes us relationally out of favor with others. Anger is an indication something is still seething inside the heart of a person. Anger can be managed for a while but sooner or later it will strike again without warning. Anger is the result of hurt and unprocessed feelings, which often times leads to cynicism.

Cynicism

If anger persists without proper adjudication it leads to cynicism. Cynicism originally meant yapping like a dog. Have you ever experienced a yapping dog? They can be quite annoying. They yap at you from a distance but they never seem to come close to you. As soon as you draw close to a yapping dog it runs away and hides behind a couch and yes, continues yapping. People yap in the same way. You will know when someone is mad at you because they will distance themselves from you with a passive aggressive streak in their demeanor. This is what happens to a yapper who does not process their anger in the proper way; they become cynical and murmur behind your back. The next time you encounter that person, your mere presence will stir up all kinds of ill feelings inside of them. However, it does not stop here, a cynical person can adopt a critical spirit.

A Critical Spirit

Finally, a cynical person develops a critical spirit. A critical spirit is when you spirit is vexed. It can easily find fault with another. When Eliab saw David at the battle lines inquiring about Goliath, a critical spirit arose within him with an accusing tone. Eliab spewed verbal venom toward his brother David. It takes just a little agitation for a critical spirit to erupt. This is what Eliab’s line is all about, and David crossed the line of criticism and distinguished himself from his brother Eliab, and went on toward his goal.

Lifeline Intersections

Your life and mine take a path where at some point in our lives will intersect with those who can help us get to our destiny. I call these life encounters lifeline intersections. When your life intersects with another person’s life, what will the result of that encounter be? Will you be able to help someone to their next level with your counsel, or will you simply destroy someone’s destiny through cutting remarks? Our lives will intersect with others because in God’s plan there are people He places in our lives who will impact us and provide the key for the next phase of our life.

Do you know what convergence means? It is when two points intersect with each other in time. I believe it is when your entire life’s preparation (your character, gifts, abilities, education, experience, etc.), the accumulation of all you know, converges with your appointed day of destiny; an entry point where there is an opportunity for promotion, only if you can recognize and seize it. The Greeks referred to this moment as kairos (καιρός), a word indicating “an opportune moment”. You and I must be alert at all times so we can discern it when the time arrives, to take advantage of its offerings.

Convergence is a time of promotion; a time when you intersect with a key person or significant event that will propel you into your destiny. Will you be able to recognize that day when it arrives? What are you doing today to prepare yourself for this appointed day in time?

Former President Ronald Reagan would regularly say in his speeches to the American people, “We have a rendezvous with destiny.” What did he mean by this? I believe he meant that we, as a nation, were coming upon a national convergence with our destiny; a major intersection with our appointed purpose as a nation. If we prepared for it we would experience something great that would mark our generation (the 1980’s). Sure enough my generation saw the fall of Communism in Russia, which ended the Cold War between two superpowers, and we experienced the greatest economic boom in history during the 1980’s. Generations in the future will look back to study this part of history and come to the same and even more profound conclusions. Former President Reagan is quickly emerging as one of top three Presidents of all time. This honor is unheard of in modern times. He reached his convergence late in life when he was weeks shy of his seventieth birthday. He wisely ruled over a nation and changed the world during his septennial years.

Eliab’s Opportunity

Eliab and David’s lives intersected on this particular day when David visited his brothers on the battle lines. It was David’s day of initial convergence; a day that God would give him a peek into his destiny. Later on, during his reign as king of Judah, David came into full convergence when he united Israel’s southern and northern kingdoms and took possession of both of them, coalescing all twelve tribes into one powerful nation and force to be reckoned with among the nations.

Eliab had an opportunity, a Kairos moment, to give David input; to shape and be a part of his destiny. As an older brother he was supposed to father David into his destiny but he was unable because of the bitterness he held in his heart toward his younger brother. Therefore, God’s opportunity and intended purpose for Eliab’s life faded into a dark shadow of obscurity of “what could have been?” Do you want to live your life this way? I know people who wish they could have done things differently and they become too hard on themselves because of lost opportunities. A posture of regret is not a position you want to be in.

Eliab’s Distorted Destiny

Eliab had a promising destiny as the oldest son in a large family of eight sons. His name comes from two Hebrew words ‘Eliy’ab (el-ee-awb’) meaning, “Father God or mighty father.” In the Bible names had a lot of significance. A name or a change in names was usually intertwined with someone’s character or a change of character. This new character usually determined a change of destiny. In some cases when God changed someone’s name He was affirming the changes in their character; hence a new course of destiny was theirs to embrace. Part of Eliab’s life purpose was to father to others since his name bears that meaning.

Eliab and David’s lives were destined to intersect on that day on the battlefield anyway. This appointment was predetermined by God. Unfortunately since Eliab did not process his feelings appropriately he belched out cutting remarks to David rather than nurturing David through his day of promotion. Eliab, instead of delivering a negative monologue towards David, should have spoken with a positive and uplifting tone.

It is obvious that David did not need a critic on this particular day, rather he needed someone to encourage, someone who would have discerned his window of opportunity and guided him through it. Unfortunately Eliab failed to discern David’s opportunity. How can we discern and speak life into someone’s destiny if we carry bitterness and hurt from the past? First, we can do it by getting rid of all bitterness, rage, anger and every from of malice from our heart. Second, we can do it by discerning the window of opportunity when it arises in someone’s life. Once this window is discerned we must use “words of the wise” to guide others with love and purpose.

Chapter 2
[1] Gladwell, Malcolm. Blink (Little, Brown and Company, New York, 2005), 88.
[2] OT: 446 – Eliab: ‘Eliy’ab (el-ee-awb’)
[3] NT: 3949 – Exasperate: Parorgizo

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2011 in XYZ Coaching

 

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Chapter 3 – Eliab’s Line

We shall not escape our dangers by recoiling from them.
Winston Churchill

Words Can’t Hurt Me

Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger was aroused against David, and he said, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.” And David said, “What have I done now? Is there not a cause?”(1 Samuel 17:28-29)

Eliab’s line represents the line of criticism since he tried to limit David’s movement by his extreme vitriol. Eliab had a problem with unprocessed anger since he was the obvious choice but was rejected as King Saul’s successor. It is apparent by his behavior that emotional control was not one of Eliab’s strengths. He made some strong accusing and cutting remarks toward his younger brother David on the battle lines. His purpose was to injure and hinder David’s movement to his ultimate goal. Yet David was able to deflect his brother’s vitriol and control his emotions crossing over the line of criticism with dignity. I am sure that you have encountered someone like Eliab; a person full of anger, rage and bitterness who has tried to stop your forward progress toward your destiny by degrading you with their words. Criticism can hurt deeply especially when it comes from someone you admire and respect like your father, mother, friend or even an older brother.

Perhaps you are living with the line of criticism right now. Someone, somewhere in your history said something or did something that made you stop believing in yourself. You see, words have a powerful effect upon our lives. They can propel us into our destiny or they can crush us to the ground. As a matter of fact the destructive words spoken to you in the past may still echo in your mind today. Each time you endeavor to set a goal, do something great, change a destructive pattern in your life, there may be this little voice reverberating in your mind saying things like, “You can’t do this.” Your intentions to break your old mindsets are commendable and good but somehow they are never achieved. The reason for this impasse is that you are still listening to an old recording in your mind. It is time to break that old record (Okay CD) and start living life in a new way. Can you break and overcome the line of criticism? You can break through any line but first let us see what lines Eliab attempted to impose on David and then we can find out how David crossed the line of criticism, overcoming his brother’s ill intent against him.

Recognizing Your Promotion

Did you know that you have a supernatural enemy? This enemy will challenge you on any given day but especially on the day of your promotion by questioning whether you belong in this new place or not. He uses disgruntled pawns like Eliab who open themselves up to the realm of demonic activity through their anger and bitterness. Anger, bitterness and jealousy open you up to demon infestation. Demons are like flies when you operate in “shitty attitude” you are opening up an access door inviting demonic activity to flourish in your life. This is why we are advised in the scriptures to forgive one another so our issues do not turn into grudges. A grudge is where we allow something to fester inside growing into something worse. Will you be able to recognize the day of your promotion? When do you think David found out this particular day was he day for promotion? Did someone tell him or did he discover it for himself? I believe he discovered it when he heard a sound; a wicked voice blaspheming God and His army. You can discern God’s voice better with a clean conscience. It says:

As he (David) was talking with them, Goliath, the Philistine champion from Gath, stepped out from his lines and shouted his usual defiance, and David heard it. When the Israelites saw the man, they all ran from him in great fear.(1 Samuel 17:23-24)

The narrative says that “David heard it”, but when the Israelites heard the same tone and voice they ran in great fear. What was the difference? David heard the words of injustice and being a person of righteousness he volunteered himself to do something about it. At this point David heard more than a voice. I believe he heard the voice of destiny calling him to the forefront. While there are some people who will hear a voice that causes them to fear, others will the voice of destiny. At this point David discerned something; it was a sense that God was up to something. It was like God was calling him to step into his proper place in life. At this point he sensed his destiny, to step up and confront the behemoth named Goliath. David discerned an opportunity of a lifetime.

It was God who promoted David to the battle lines by prompting David’s father Jesse to send him to inquire about his brothers. He was being appointed to do something about it and he did not know it until he heard the voice of the giant. It was at this point that David heard the wicked voice of Goliath. He discerned that God was up to something. So he began to inquire about what would be done if someone defeated the giant. David took center stage at this point. Character always does. Character does not flinch back during evil times, instead a person with character steps up to confront the present evil. Character is one of the three dimensions of leadership I will address in chapter 9. Character is possessing strong moral convictions, which engage you to do something about the circumstances around you. Character desires to put things in order when they are in disarray. When your promotion comes there will be those who will attempt to hinder your forward progress. For David, the test started with his brother’s criticism. Could David pass the test of criticism?

Eliab attempted to limit David’s progress on four fronts:

1. Eliab questioned David’s promotion.

Now Jesse could have sent for four of David’s other brothers to go to the battle lines and inquire of their situation, but instead he sent David. Jesse was probably afraid Saul would recruit his other four sons, older than David,, as they were in desperate need for new recruits. Instead he sent the most unlikely candidate on this mission; someone too young to be recruited on the spot. He chose his youngest son David. It is most likely that David was unaware that he was walking right into his day of promotion until he heard a wicked voice summon him to the forefront. What will it take for you to recognize your day of promotion? Now, this is what happened when David encountered Eliab on the battle lines for the first time:

Eliab’s anger was aroused against David, and he said, “Why did you come down here?”(1 Samuel 17:28)

Anger can flare up at any moment especially when it is jostled by the slightest reminder of some injurious action in the past triggering a memory of injury or hurt that caused pain or disappointment in the past. For Eliab, David was his reminder. Anger was used here to thwart David from recognizing and entering his promotion. What is a promotion? A promotion is being elevated to another place of operation with a new anointing and authority. Some of our promotions won’t come easy as was the case with David’s promotion. Most of the time promotions come with a price tag attached; a considerable cost. This day was costly for David in the area of relationships:
- Eliab was infuriated by David’s inquiries among the soldiers.
- After David defeated Goliath the people throughout Israel sang a song about his exploits and attributed more success to him than to King Saul. This infuriated and alienated King Saul against David who kept “an evil eye” on him from that point on. Later, King Saul took this jealousy to extremes by persecuting David.

David’s promotion cost him some key relationships. David’s presence at the battle lines and his eventual victory exposed the inner thoughts of those around him. When someone else is promoted over you, the motives of your heart will be exposed; good or bad. You will either rejoice for that person’s recent success or become jealous like Eliab became with David. Your reaction will either be good or bad depending on your personal history with that individual. David, unaware of his brother’s desire to thwart his movement toward his goal, did not realize the depth of Eliab’s anger against him until this encounter.

2. Eliab demeaned David’s position as shepherd.

Eliab continued, “And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness?” (1 Samuel 17:28)

Our spiritual enemy comes at us from all angles. At first he used Eliab to question David’s promotion. This time he uses Eliab as a pawn to bring up David’s position as a shepherd. What’s next? The Scriptures state that he (Satan) comes in like a flood (Isaiah 59:19), meaning he continues coming with speed and vigor trying to impede your progress. What does this simile in the book of Isaiah convey? In the natural realm a flood is an explosive force of uncontrolled waters that are meant to:
- Take you by surprise.
- Overwhelm you.
- Carry you away.
- Destroy you.

In a spiritual sense there are times when our spiritual enemy unloads everything he has in his arsenal all at once. In this particular situation, Eliab spewed a flood of venomous statements projected toward David to injure him or impede his progress. Eliab continued his venomous attack by criticizing David’s position as a shepherd. Although David was quite responsible in his position as a shepherd because he left the responsibility of watching the sheep with a keeper. David lived by a standard, therefore, he was responsible to delegate his pastoral responsibilities to someone who was just as capable as he was. Proper delegation is a key characteristic of a good leader; it is ensuring sustainability and success when you are absent. David was not consumed with the condition of his sheep because he felt secure with his decision. He was, however, concerned about the future state of God’s army; God’s sheep.

The enemy will bring up the past to keep you:
- Dwelling in your past.
- In doubt about something in your past.
- Feeling inadequate about your past performance.
- Second-guessing yourself about your current position.
- We must pay close attention to the three schemes of the enemy:

A. Deflection

The enemy will bring up your past for these three reasons. First, he is trying to deflectyour attention from the real situation in front of you, since the situation before you will launch you directly into your destiny. His purpose is to keep you preoccupied about something for a brief moment rather than the objective before you. He wants to divide your mind so you become a double-minded person. Someone who is double-minded tends to think in at least two directions. A double minded person becomes indecisive in what he or she wants to accomplish. A double-minded person cannot put one hundred percent effort into one single action since he or she is deluded in thought and purpose; doubt begins to set in. Deflection is another tactic of the enemy to divide the true purposes of your life.

B. Defocusing

Second, the enemy is trying to defocusyour vision. Even the slightest movement of a lens can bring a fuzzy vision. Defocusing is a strategy the enemy uses to make you see something else other than the prize in front of you. Defocusing will limit your ability to see, discern and make the proper judgments. In this case David’s prize was defeating Goliath and removing the reproach from Israel. The enemy will attempt to slightly turn your focus and attention in another direction. During this short lapse of time, the enemy plants a “seed” of doubt to make you second-guess your mission. If he succeeds in his mission your momentum has a higher possibility to diminish in strength. Focusing, on the other hand, is the ability to perceive and make the proper interpretation and decision-making to bring you into a great advantage.

C. Distraction

Third, the enemy’s goal and purpose is to slightly distract you and keep you off your mental game. For instance professional athletes work up a mental framework before a game through discipline and deep concentration. They are preparing themselves mentally for the game that is ahead of them. Courage is about building a strong mental framework that keeps you going regardless of the situation before you. When you are slightly distracted it can throw you off your game plan. Mental toughness is hard to achieve but once you have acquired this state it is difficult to loose. David had to work through the mental defeat and condition of Saul’s army. He was able to come upon the scene and lift the hopes of the doubters and the double-minded.

Don’t allow your past to keep you from being ineffective. If you do the right things now you can leave the past with a sense of accomplishment rather than lingering mediocrity, guilt and doubt. A promotion is more rewarding when your past performance and conscience is free and clear of any impropriety. David’s mind was free and clear of any bad performance in his past, therefore, criticism was not able to have the affect it should have.

3. Eliab accused David of pride.

“I know your pride and the insolence of your heart…”(1 Samuel 17:28)

David was not prideful nor was he insolent; he had pure motives while on the battlefield. Those who are pure in spirit will expose the evil intent of others. Eliab’s heart was exposed by David’s mere presence—it was Eliab who was prideful and insolent. The enemy knows that God opposes the proud so he will try to get you living in the “pride zone.” If the enemy can get you into this zone he knows that God Himself will oppose you. You want God to be for you not against you. For it says in James 4:6:

He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

Pride goes against God’s nature because God has His sights and thoughts set on others not on Himself. The essence of pride is thinking more about yourself and your personal agenda then it is thinking about others. David was not thinking about himself or his personal agenda, but in God’s cause. That cause was to remove the arrogant and repugnant giant from defying God’s elect. It was Eliab who was having a pity party because God did not choose him but David to be the next king. Do you know what a pity party is? A pity party is operating with injured pride; it is feeling sorry for yourself. It was Eliab’s injured pride that hurt him. He attempted to get David to join his pity party but David refused sensing that something bigger loomed in the horizon.

The enemy will attempt to reach into and grasp your heart to find out what is in it. In other words he goes fishing to see if he can find something unclean lurking in your heart. It is as if he is taking a net or sifting device and waving it across your heart to see if it gets snagged on something like bitterness or envy. David’s motives were pure and the enemy’s net swiped right through his intentions without any snags. The enemy of your soul has no claim on you when your heart is free and clear of sin; this condition is called righteousness. Righteousness is a state of being in right standing and relationship before God. This is the posture you want to adopt in your life. David operated by faith and the condition of his heart brought him into right relationship with God.

I like watching episodes of a boxing reality show on a cable sports network. In the last show I saw a pattern emerge among the boxers. The boxers who were boastful and vain, have been loosing the majority of the bouts. It is interesting to see how the prideful learn about humility the hard way. Pride is the sure demise of anyone who adopts it. Later we will see that Goliath displayed the same prideful demeanor as these boxers. He was a man full of pride and vanity. He was boastful and vain until God’s humble servant came onto the scene and knocked him out in a single shot. One way to work on your pride is to serve another person’s agenda. David served God’s agenda, which was delivering Israel from their predicament.

4. Eliab accused David of passivity.

“…for you have come down only to watch the battle.” (1 Samuel 17:28)

The enemy wants to sideline you and keep you out of the game. If Satan can’t get you with his pride tactics, he will surely try to swamp you with passivity. Eliab tried this tactic by accusing David as a second string player, basically regulating him to a mere spectator watching from the sidelines. The enemy wants you to loose heart and keep you out of the game before it even starts. Have you ever played on a sports team before? Then you have seen those who are small in stature but have a huge heart to play the game. Daniel E. “Rudy” Ruettiger reminds me of this type of person. Rudy was too small of a player to play for Notre Dame’s football team. The coach, however, allowed him to play on the scrub team during practices helping the better players prepare for the games on the weekend. Rudy played on the scrub team all season long until the very last game of the season. In this game the players pressed the coach to allow Rudy to suit up and play in the last few minutes of a real game. The moral of the story is that Rudy stuck to what he believed in all season, that is, playing with his whole heart and soul. His hard work paid off in the end. He eventually got to live out his dream and played a small part in a real game. Rudy may have been small in stature but he had great passion to play a big person’s game.

The enemy wants you to become a passive participant on the sidelines. A passive participant is a person who is at the game but not in the game. Passivity is a form of paralysis and fear that gets you to this point, keeping you in check. Passivity has never accomplished anything of great significance, as a matter of fact passivity is the opposite of passion. Passivity is the enemy’s device to keep Christians restrained and on the sidelines watching the game. Someone with a passive spirit is what I call a sideline Christian, someone who is on the team, gets the benefits of a team, but does not contribute anything of value to the team’s success. They are satisfied being part of something great but not willing to play a great part. David, however, brought a different spirit to the game and he proved himself and was allowed to play in the big game. Passion produces results while passivity brings insults. An insult from Goliath is exactly what the Israelites received because of their passive condition. What are you doing to contribute to your team’s success? It all starts and ends with passion.

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2011 in XYZ Coaching

 

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Chapter 4 – Crossing the Line of Criticism

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Elbert Hubbard

David’s First Crossing

There is always a way to cross the lines of resistance we encounter in our lives; we just have to find out how to do it. One method is to humble ourselves in the process and create the right attitude for a breakthrough. Lines are meant to be broken since they are designed to limit or restrain us from achieving the greatness God designed and destined within us.

Not all criticism is detrimental. Some criticism, called constructive criticism, is helpful and needed if you are to grow and mature. Constructive criticism builds and edifies the individual taking care of the other half of the equation criticism ignores. Constructive criticism is about constructing the individual from the inside. It is designed to build an internal framework of character and confidence so the person can develop further and succeed in the life’s mission.

Crossing the Line of Criticism

David was first and foremost empowered by a covering.

Then Jesse said to his son David, “Take now for your brothers an ephah of this dried grain and these ten loaves, and run to your brothers at the camp. And carry these ten cheeses to the captain of their thousand, and see how your brothers fare, and bring back news of them.” So David rose early in the morning, left the sheep with a keeper, and took the things and went as Jesse had commanded him.(1 Samuel 17:17-20)

David was given the proper permission to be on the battle lines by two key figures. First he was on the battle lines because he was under his father’s covering. David’s father sent him on a mission to find out information about his other sons. Consent is important aspect of covering when on an assignment. Jesse, David’s father, was an authority figure and parental covering in David’s life. An authority figure is someone in your life you listen to and obey like a parent, pastor or supervisor. Second, David had more than his father’s favor, he gained the favor of one of the “captain of thousands” to be on the front lines. This second consent gave David favor to freely roam on the battle lines among the soldiers. Many of us have problems with authority figures since we have not been covered properly by their consent. Consent is basically an endorsement, a validation or vote of confidence from your leader. When you do not have their consent you possess what is called a “vote of no confidence.” When we are improperly covered we are acting independently doing our own thing without the proper supervision, empowerment and endorsement from our leaders. A spiritual covering is simply coming under the protection and accountability of your spiritual leaders while under their assignment. This is true empowerment.

Do you want to be empowered? Then gain the favor of your superiors and get under their covering. You will want to gain their favor not their disfavor. David was empowered by his father but also gained the favor of one of the captains of Israel’s army. He had freedom to roam on the battle lines and talk with whomever he pleased. A covering is crucial for your success.

David had an uncanny ability to control his emotions.

David was able to cross the line of criticism because of his ability to control his emotions. Today, the ability to control your emotions is known as possessing a high emotional quotient (EQ), which is also known as emotional intelligence. This is a person’s ability to stay calm in the midst of chaos and the ability to relate to people with different temperaments without losing control of your own emotions. Self-control, a fruit of the Spirit, is the ability to endure long or to have great patience through times of testing. An important attribute of being able to manage your anger means that you are able to think of the ramifications of your actions, and act accordingly to bring about results of a higher nature. The principle of emotional control is not new; it’s evident in Proverbs 29:11:

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

We can learn a great lesson from David who knew when to speak with wisdom to those around him and when to remain silent. Wisdom is an understanding that knows what to say and when to say it; it is the ability to restrain oneself from saying something out of line that you will regret later on. David had an uncanny ability to control his emotions. In other words, he didn’t allow Eliab’s anger to affect him in any way. How healthy are you emotionally? Many believe that your emotional quotient, the ability to get along with people is more important than your intellectual quotient (IQ). A person may be intelligent but if they cannot get along with people they won’t last very long on any team. Their respect among the team will eventually erode and respect is just what is required to gain the trust and favor of those around you. On the other hand, a person with a healthy emotional quotient is wise enough not to react too quickly or obnoxiously among others but to think through the consequences of their words and actions. They are able to think through their situation and know the ramifications of their improper words. If David did not possessed this ability, a high emotional quotient, then an argument would have ensued between them but instead David kept his cool and became the wiser of the two.

When you encounter criticism your response to that criticism will determine whether you receive a promotion or a demotion. Criticism will be a part of your life and mine. We will all encounter it at some point, however, the key is to recognize the source of it and not be sucked into its vacuum. Turn the negative criticism of your opponents into your advantage by allowing it to sharpen you and make you a better person.

As was evident in the narrative, Eliab did not have this ability. If you want to get somewhere in life you must be able to garner the favor of those around you. Leaders and managers are more likely to choose someone with a high emotional quotient over a person with a low one. Again, remember that your emotional quotient is more important than your intellectual one. People, like your employers and leaders, want those around them who can master their emotions.

Answer this question, who would you want on your team, a person with a low emotional quotient or a high one? I am sure that you would rather choose a person with a high emotional quotient. The ability to get along with people of all kinds of personalities and temperaments is an important key to your success. Can you get along with people of all temperaments? If not, will you fall prey to their criticism?

David served a higher cause.

And David said, “What have I done now? Is there not a cause?”(1 Samuel 17:29)

What is a cause? A cause is a strong interest in something extremely important to someone at the moment. When a cause is really important to someone they are willing to take great risks to see it accomplished or even die for it. Dr. Martin Luther King believed in his cause of equality and justice, and he was willing to put his life on the line to see true justice not just for the plight of blacks but for all Americans. Jesus, the Son of God, believed in His Father’s cause and eventually gave His life for it. The proof that someone really believes in a cause is that they are willing to lay down their lives for one, not just talk about it. David was willing to risk it all when he volunteered to fight the giant. He was willing to put his life on the line for God’s cause. The willingness to die for a cause is the vital evidence that someone really believes in one, much like Dr. Martin Luther King.

Second, a cause is also something that needs immediate attention. In this scenario God’s causewas defeating the Philistines and removing the reproach from His people, Israel. David became incensed with God’s cause, as you and I should. As important as causes are, every cause needs a spokesperson. David became God’s spokesman. David became God’s representative and advocate on the battle lines.

Today when there is a cause worth fighting for a well-known Hollywood celebrity comes to the forefront and creates enormous media frenzy over an issue like the environment, global warming or a dying plant in some part of the world that needs to be preserved. Usually these causes do not have too much validity and do not serve the general public very well, but according to the spokesperson they are surely worth fighting for. It takes a spokesperson to bring attention to an issue, to convince and recruit the masses to join in to make a difference and change the status quo. When this happens their cause soon becomes an oasis of lively activity due to the efforts of one person. People will flock to good or bad causes depending on their belief system.

Whom and for what are you being the spokesman for today? Is God unable to defend Himself? Absolutely not! However He is looking for willing participants like you and I who can bring His causes to the light. When we take on His causes as our own He will ensure success by backing us up. David served a higher cause than his own. He could not stand idly by and listen to someone insult God’s army. David felt the urge to do something about it and take immediate action. If you embrace God’s causes then nothing, not even the words of your own brothers, can stop you from fulfilling the assignment placed upon your life.

What cause are you serving, yours or His? If you are serving your own cause, like Saul was, you will fail. The reason why Saul failed in his mission was that he did not want to look like a fool in front of his men so he played it safe. This is commonly referred to as the “fear of man.” The fear of man is the deep desire to be liked and accepted by others, so will we have the tendency to please them. The fear of man is when you would rather do what is popular, go along with the crowd instead of doing what is morally right. King Saul feared the people rather than God. The fear of man quenches God’s agenda if we give into it. The fear of God is really a healthy thing. It means we esteem, honor and revere Him; therefore we will obey Him at all costs regardless of what people say or think about us. As leaders if we fear people we will have the tendency to please them rather than carry out God’s commands. At times God’s commands may seem ridiculous; they require the element of obedience, which comes through faith. King Saul was a “people pleaser” the modern day version of a politician who looks to the public polls to get their queues.

The causes worth fighting for are the ones that God cares about since these causes will have the benevolent backing of our Creator. So you need to find out what matters to Him. For David it was upholding the honor of God’s name and supporting His army. In the past a nation’s strength was usually attributed to their god’s ability to deliver them from their enemies. Israel’s army was in bad shape so God’s name was being blasphemed and God was being made into a public spectacle by the Philistines. Israel’s lack of participation led to God’s name being maligned, ridiculed and diminished in authority. However when David entered the conflict and made God’s cause his own, the winds of change began to shift the spiritual atmosphere in his favor.

David turned his back on his critics.

“Then he turned from him (Eliab) toward another.(1 Samuel 17:30)

David did not allow critical words to stop him from moving into his destiny. I wonder how many of us are still hearing the echo of our critics pass through our mind right now? Where would you be today if you had turned your back on your critics? In the past when you listened to your critics did you fall prey to their demands, wishes and whims? David had a way of allowing the negative words of others to roll right off him. I tend to associate his demeanor to the analogy of modern day rain gear. For instance, if we go out in the rain with our regular clothes the rain will eventually soak through and penetrate onto our body, affecting us in many ways. We then feel the effects of the wet, cold rain through our clothing; it’s a miserable condition to be in. However, if you are well prepared with the proper rain gear, the pellets of water will drip right off you. We can conclude that David wore a raincoat of confidence. In other words, he did not allow the critical words of others to penetrate and frustrate his forward progress; they just repelled right off of him.

Are you allowing the criticism of others to penetrate your thinking and affect your ability to act, or do you repel the power of these words with a layer of protection? The layer of protection is your confidence in God’s ability to perform on your behalf. Confidence is like spiritual armor, it is strong and impenetrable. Therefore the ability to turn away from your critics is like having a thick coat that will deflect any negative words from penetrating into your mind and constraining your forward progress.

David held onto his confidence.

What is your coating made of? Your coating is your ability to live above the criticism and not to allow it to affect you in any way. How does this happen? Your ability to repel criticism has to do with your confidence in God. How confident are you in God’s ability to help you? How confident are you in believing in God’s promises of deliverance? Let us see what the writer of the book of Hebrews has to say about confidence:

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.(Hebrews 10:35-36)

The word confidence means having the patience to endure through trials; it is keeping a level of constancy throughout those trials. It is possessing a deep faith and assurance of a good outcome based on a high level of trust in God. In short, confidence is unwavering faith on accelerated cruise control. One way to persevere through trials is by believing the promises of God. David was able to keep his cool because the promises of God were alive in his mind. Since God provided for him in the past; He would also provide for him in this present situation. David was able to repel criticism because the promises of God for his life outweighed any negativity directed against him. The day will come when you will need to hold onto your confidence for the following reasons:

- There will be times when others will oppose you.
- There will be times when circumstances will not go in your favor.
- There will be times when all hell breaks loose in your life.

What will you lean on during these critical moments? You won’t be able to lean on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) that is for sure. When you “lean on your own understanding” you are over analyzing too much, and this way of thinking never gets you anywhere.

To cross the line of criticism you will need to lean on your confidence in God’s ability to perform on your behalf. Eliab’s words, although potent enough to disable, lost the power to destroy David’s confidence to pursue God’s purposes for his life. David was able to cross Eliab’s line, therefore distinguishing himself and living above his brother’s critical remarks. Because of this David was able to go on to his next challenge, meeting with King Saul face to face.

Chapter 4
[1] Stoddard, David A.  The Heart of Mentoring. (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2003), 34.
[2] NT 5281 – Confidence.

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2011 in XYZ Coaching

 

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