Sales – Is it a Lost Art Form?


We all sell. Allow me to correct myself… we are constantly selling something; an idea, a venture, service, a product, etc. Selling is an activity we do everyday. We do it consciously and unconsciously. We live for the thrill of the deal. One day, my supervisor asked me to train a new colleague in sales. So this young lady and I visited a few of her clients in her district. I was just the “ride-along” senior sales person. My job was to observe, take note and provide a few coaching moments. What I discovered was far more revealing. As I sat in the passengers seat, as a disengaged observer, I discovered the following selling principles.

1. Prepare wisely

The most common area of preparation has to be your “elevator pitch”. In other words, what will be the one sentence or two, which will captivate a gatekeeper, a decision maker or even the front desk receptionist? It is not just a “one-pitch” liner but it is also a combination of pitch variables working at the moment depending on the need. One must be able to juggle a client’s current need with a masterful delivery at the right time. Here are three critical areas of preparation:

a. Product Mastery: You must have mastery of your product or service, and how it relates with and benefits your customer. Not all customers’ have the same need at the moment.

b. The Tailored Pitch:  In your brief interaction you must collect enough data so you are able to communicate a Tailored pitch, which appeals to the need at the moment. In your brief conversation you must be able to discern the “inner” dilemma of the decision maker, and the customer’s challenge within the organization to make a Tailored pitch fitting the need.

c.  Problem Solver: You must be able to communicate how your service can be the “problem solver” for their current challenge. Since every business is looking for a deal, you must be able to make them salivate not only at your pricing but also your capacity to perform up to your promises.

2. Cultivate your presence

Many of salespeople are not well prepared when they enter the foyer of a business to make a sales pitch. Often times, we carry the pressures of making our monthly quotas, perhaps of past failures, or personal problems from the home front. We think to ourselves; “Am I adequate enough for this job?” Your negative demeanor cannot be covered up so easily. Any discerning person will be able to read through your layers of insecurity. Your presence is more than your polished dress code, your manicured nails and stylish hair. Cultivating an inner presence has to do with an inner light exuding confidence, which draws people in to you. You presence has three layers:

a. Your Physical Presence: Yes, your dress code and other physical features such as grooming, fresh breath, and odor (cologne or perfume) matter but they only last for a few moments. At some point you will have to communicate your message.

b. A Presence of Soul: This area is critical. Your soul exudes presence in a good or bad way. You can be all smiles but you cannot fool people for too long. Since your eyes are the gateway into the soul, your eyes will tell a story. People can discern sincerity or disguise, passion or passivity, competence or incompetence.

c. A Spiritual Dimension: This presence is not cultivated over night but it’s a constant work of spiritual dimensions.  I tell those who I coach to read through the book of Proverbs over and over. It is the businessperson’s handbook that creates enduring success. The principles contained within can shape your character and integrity, which are the pivot points of creating trust.

3. Persist with Subtlety

During our sales venture, we had just finished visiting with a client. As we left the foyer I began to coach my trainee on a principle I use regularly. I said, “Great job! You got the receptionist to pick up the phone and call Human Resources. However, when the receptionist came back to you and said, “She was in a meeting”, you should have persisted by saying, “Okay, I don’t mind waiting in the lobby fifteen minutes.” The receptionist has tremendous power to allow you in or not; many times covering for Human Resources. At this point you have to persist with subtlety. I call it the Persist Subtlety Principle.

So on our next meeting, the same scenario played out like the previous one. This time the gentleman running Human Resources was on the phone. My trainee said, “Okay, we will come back!” At this point I intervened, “Excuse me, my name is Joel. How are you? We will wait a few minutes, perhaps he will be done with his call soon.” The receptionist relented. A few minutes later, a gentleman from Human Resources comes out to greet us and says, “How can I help you?” At the end of the conversation, we had a meeting scheduled for the following week. It was because we persisted with subtlety.

4.  Make Powerful Connections

The purpose of a visit is to make powerful connections. What I mean is a connection that goes beyond mere generalities and introductions. A connection that lingers, that leaves a residue of your person and purpose. On our previous visit (noted in point #3) I left a gift with the gentleman in Human Resources. It was stress doll in the shape of a mid-sized man, round in shape. The funny part of this stress doll is it resembles my body type and shape. On it is our company’s name and brand. As we departed I handed him a stress doll with my business card. He asked, “What is this for?” I said, “It’s a stress doll. Squeeze it when you get stressed out.” As he was closing the door he gave it a squeeze… I then replied, “Ouch!!” He looked at me (not making the connection with my body shape and the stress doll), and I responded, “It is my business card… it’s shaped like me! So be careful how you treat him!” He then laughed out loud. As he closed the door behind him you could still hear him chucking down the hallway. When you can make people laugh, you know you have made a powerful connection.

After several visits to clients that morning, I advised her to step away and reflect on each visit. I then coached her to ask herself a few questions; what did you learn at each visit? How can you interact better next time? How can you make powerful connections? Each encounter is a learning experience. We can always do things differently, say something better, and be more or less aggressive in our approach. Simply put, each encounter is a learning encounter.


Metron: The Measure of a Leader’s Influence


‘Influence is to be measured, not by the extent of surface it covers, but by its kind.” William E. Channing

It is one thing to be a leader, but what separates any leader from becoming a masterful one? At what scale does one have to influence to separate oneself from a group of good leaders? I believe it starts when a leader receives a transfer of trust from those they desire to lead. You cannot have influence without trust, and trust is built through love. It is crucial for leaders today to build trust or what I call creating “shares of trust” with those they desire to lead. This happens when a leader leads unselfishly, building value and virtue, exuding integrity and confidence in others as they move forward with the common vision. Trust leads to a shift in power. When a leader builds trust they also amass power, and this power is the leader’s impetus to lead others. This power is known as referent power, which is synonymous with influencing. Without influence it will be difficult to lead any type of group, organizational, civic or cultural transformation. A masterful leader, therefore, is one who exerts influence for the purpose of transformation through collaborative effort. This collaborative effort between leaders and followers is the key to moving a vision forward towards concrete results.

This idea of building and transferring “shares of trust” sums up the life and leadership influence of Jesus of Nazareth. A transfer of influence came from the heavenly Father to His son, then from Jesus to his band of twelve disciples, and from Jesus’ twelve followers this heavenly transfer has influenced and transformed pagan and religious cultures in nations for over two millennia.

Just what is influence? According to a Google search, influence is “the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something…” views influence as “the ability to alter or sway an individual’s or a group’s thoughts, beliefs, or actions.”[i] In my view, influence is a personal catalog of transformative virtues emanating from within, which are expressed for the benefit and purpose of attracting others to engage in creating change and leading transformation. These qualities are a mixture of innate and learned abilities, which are cultivated over time, plus spiritual endowments bestowed by our Creator. In sum, influence is the original Law of Attraction for the purpose of wooing others, and persuading them to enter God’s flow or to fulfill a specific agenda.

An etymological search for the root meaning of the word influence revealed “a flow of water” or a “flowing into.”[ii] After reading this definition, my thoughts were immediately drawn to John 4:14, where Jesus provides us with a vivid picture of spiritual influence:

“Whoever drinks the water I give him (a flowing into) will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up (a flow of water) to eternal life.”

This inner release of “welling up” from within is the fountain of life people deeply yearn for. It’s the “well” of divine influence, which bubbles up from within you at the time of conversion and continues to manifest its divine stream of influence throughout your life, only if you stay on course to guard and nurture its precious flow. This divine influence is a person, not a thing or paradigm, who abides within you, releasing a supernatural flow of favor and anointing, while at the same time leveraging your talents, and gifts for influencing. It is one thing to have influence but how do you measure its effectiveness? Allow me to illustrate both natural and supernatural examples of influence.

Cultivating Influence

Influence is a gift and a study; it is acquired through learning and nurtured by growing. And, since you and I reflect both the spiritual dimension, as well as the physical dimension, we must learn to use our innate abilities given to us during the miracle of formation in our mother’s womb, as well as the spiritual endowments bestowed by our Creator upon our conversion. Therefore, for leaders seeking personal mastery, you and I must understand the painstaking effort of hours upon hours of disciplined study, learning and practicing their chosen craft to hone in the critical skills, abilities and talents required to build influence.

When you think of the great motivational speakers of our era, a few individuals come to mind. For me personally, I think of people like the late Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar, or Anthony Robbins, one of our contemporaries. Just how is their success measured? Is it measured by the thousands of people they have transformed by their uncanny ability to communicate life and leadership principles with clarity and flairs of humor? Can it be their charisma mixed with style of delivery? These great communicators of our day were not passive students of leadership by any means, but added value to people each day by being purposeful, engaging and being on the cutting edge of relevancy for their specific audience in time. These speakers, over a span of time, enlarged their capacities as great communicators in their area of expertise, which extended their sphere of influence throughout the business community, eventually becoming some of the pioneers of the personal development movement of the past half-century.

One thing is for certain, you cannot measure potential – only performance, since results carry the day over good intentions. We see this time and time again by people who have stretched themselves to enhance their personal and professional craft, which millions of Americans love and respect. Take into account, actors and actresses from the past and present, people like Jimmy Stewart, Marlon Brando, Morgan Freeman, Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio, and actresses of the likes of Bettie Davis, Katharine Hepburn, Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet. All these artists have something in common, they are known for their work ethic, on and off stage and screen, which is evident through many of their memorable and endearing roles. Their success can be calculated by applying various measures; their over-the-top box-office sales, their acting prowess, believability on screen, and by the accolades and honors received year after year at annual award ceremonies.

Divine Influence

As a minister, when I reflect upon contemporary influencers of the faith, I cannot help but think of the likes of Evangelist Billy Graham, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Pastors’ Rick Warren, Bill Hybels and Joel Osteen. From the inner well of the Rev. Billy Graham, we have seen a proven track record for soul winning and ministerial longevity. Bishop T.D. Jakes flavor is unashamedly communicating the truths of the gospel with persuasive and passionate preaching; Pastor Joel Osteen’s stream of influence is preaching a consistent message of positivity and hope, which attracts thousands of churchgoers and television viewers to hear his weekly messages. In addition, several millions of readers are drawn to peruse his books filled with life principles to live by. These modern day preachers’ sphere of influence is unique to each one, and can be measured by their personal integrity and ministerial longevity, and their masterful skills in communicating Biblical truth with simplicity, power and grace; each one is measured with a distinct style and substance.

In the book of Hebrews, chapter eleven, we are provided a list of heroes of the faith whose influence was measured by their simple deeds of faith. Faith was and still is God’s way of measuring success in the Kingdom, for without faith it is impossible to please God. These men and women of faith obeyed God’s call to serve their respective generation, which ushered them into a personal and glorious adventure. On many instances, their lives and contributions did not seem too inspiring, but their deeds glorified God, and this is the essence of expressing a divine influence.

You do not have to be an “outlier”, an extraordinary individual, to exert influence at a small or large scale. Influence can be exerted by anyone willing to pay the price for grooming personal, spiritual and professional mastery.

Influence is one thing but just what is a sphere of influence? And, just how does one begin to exert influence to enlarge their sphere? In the next chapter, I will define what a sphere is.

Worldview – Cultivating a Governing Philosophy of Leadership


The further a society drifts from truth the more it will hate those who speak it.”
– George Orwell –

Western culture, an idea derived from the tenants and teachings of the Christian faith, has been “under direct and unremitting cultural assault form those who want to destroy the bedrock of values of Western civilization.”[i] “We see the effect of this everywhere in the West,”[ii] and “without a basis for moral authority, no moral consensus can be reached, which is why we are in an ongoing and increasingly strident cultural war.”[iii] This cultural war over Western civilization is a struggle over which governing philosophy or ideology will prevail to dictate the cultural values and norms of civilized society. Will it be “the core values of Western civilization [which] are grounded in religion,”[iv], or moral relativism, which rejects the thought of absolute truth itself? For those of you thinking, “Wait a minute, Western Civilization is a Christian idea? Yes it is! Although the Kingdom of God is neither a Democracy nor a Republic, the very idea of a free society is derived mainly from Christian thought, and the primary reason why we should stand and contend for Kingdom principles to prevail and shape our culture.

In a direct way, Christianity finds itself totally immersed in a cultural war over worship. How is this so? The very root word for culture is “cult”, meaning “a particular form of worship.” Since we all worship someone or something, this someone or something determines how you and I create and order our lives, govern self and our family; how we approach the workplace, and even how we see, interpret and impact culture at large. Those in positions of influence tend to influence the values and mindsets of large segments of society. Culture then receives either an upgrade or downgrade depending on “who” leads and “what” worldview, values or philosophy are being translated to the masses to influence and shape culture. You see, every culture offers a unique expression distinct from other cultures. This exclusivity is their particular brand of worship. Why is a certain way of worship more important than others? It’s simple, you become like the object of your worship, for ‘those who make [idols] will be like them, and so will all who trust in them.”[v]

This struggle over worship originated in the pre-material world, when Lucifer attempted to exalt himself over God’s throne (Isaiah 14:12-17; Ezekiel 28:11-19) to divert worship from its rightful proprietor. Lucifer’s treasonous act cost him a position and place as God’s “anointed cherub”. As a result of his disloyal conduct, Lucifer was cast out of heaven to the depths of Sheol, which is the abode of the dead. This war over worship manifested itself once again in the Garden of Eden, where Lucifer acting as Serpent tempted Eve, sweeping her and Adam into a forbidden path, which opened the floodgate of evil into God’s material world. Mankind, though created in the image of God, was now tainted by sin with the propensity for evil works. Lucifer’s destructive brand was transferred from a timeless dimension to a limited one, from God’s abode to His material creation. In a brief sentence found in Genesis 6:5, evil’s manifestation within the heart of mankind and its geographical spread throughout the earth realm reached its full measure:

Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.”

Since then, this war over who controls culture, and who is to have the supremacy in worship has been fought on various fronts throughout history. This struggle has been the central theme of history’s struggle over good versus evil, which is evident in the visible and invisible worlds; a battle between God’s angelic hosts and Satan’s hordes of demons, God’s chosen remnant and the unredeemed; the righteous who live by faith, and the wicked who live by their own evil creed.

This struggle over which worldview will dominate to dictate the culture norms and trends continues to the present moment; a struggle between the Judeo-Christian worldview and a post-modern, secularized mindset. This cultural crusade is most noticeable in our arts and entertainment, the so-called artistic arena of sitcoms, movies, music, and print media. You just have to visit the magazine racks of your local bookstores to see the evidence; covers glorifying scanty clad women, narcissism, gossip, betrayal, and weekly portraits of break-ups and infidelity among the Hollywood elite. You can also watch daily soaps and nightly sitcoms abounding with immoral scripts, overflowing with sexual innuendo, lust, adultery, and the “new normal” arising in popular culture are same-sex themes. More demonstrative are the movies released in theaters, which are watched by millions of viewers each day spewing a barrage of soft to hard-core pornographic scenes, profanity, the illicit use of drugs and displays of extreme violence. For example, a beloved children’s movie had a scene of a male toy soldier humping another male toy soldier, taking the position for gays to openly serve in the armed forces. The sad part of this embedded piece of propaganda, particularly in a child’s movie, was that it was viewed by millions of young people, and children along with their parents. It was Hollywood’s way of demeaning and rejecting the deeply held values of the traditional family, and the long held views of the nation’s military policies and priorities.

In this section, I have briefly touched only upon the entertainment sector but I can go on with other sectors of culture such as science, education, politics and a variety of media outlets spewing venom and misinformation every day to undermine Christian virtue, and uproot the founding principles, which formed a nation under God.

Therefore, it is critical today, more than times past, for Christian leaders to cultivate a governing philosophy of leadership, which is most commonly known as worldview. A worldview, according to Christian apologist and author Norman L. Geisler is simply a way a person “views or interprets reality.” Geisler adds, the concept of “Worldview is derived from the German world Weltanschauung, meaning a ‘world and life view,’ or ‘a paradigm’… the framework through which or by which one makes sense of the data of life. A worldview makes a world of difference in one’s view of God, origins, evil, human nature, values, and destiny.”[vi] Chuck Colson’s examination of Christianity led him to this insightful summary:

“Christianity is a worldview that speaks to every area of life, and its foundational doctrines define its content. If we don’t know what we believe – even what Christianity is – how can we live it and defend it?”[vii]

Colson concludes his summary on worldview with the obvious reality that “our ignorance is crippling us,” meaning that without framing a cohesive and comprehensive worldview among Christian leaders today, we will keep losing the cultural war over the biblical values, which have shaped our culture and sacred institutions for generations.

Whether we know it or not we all approach and interpret life through a philosophical lens consisting of a set of presuppositions grounded in our existing reality, which forms our belief structures and value systems. Our value system dictates how you and I live, how we commune with our world, and how we apply God’s moral law and ethics to everyday life. Our approach to solving the problems arising in our world, such as poverty, defining biblical sexuality, marriage, human rights, even preserving human dignity in all phases of life from the mother’s womb to a person’s last breath are derived from a person’s worldview.

Significant Research – Worldview Metrics and Optics

To prove my point, let’s take a look at sound research by the Barna Group, a respected Christian research organization. The Barna Group claims a “worldview serves as a person’s decision-making filter, enabling them to make sense of the complex and huge amount of information, experiences, relationships and opportunities they face in life. By helping to clarify what a person believes to be important, true and desirable, a worldview has a dramatic influence on a person’s choices in any given situation.”[viii]

The distressing reality is that many Christians are not on the same page when it comes to viewing reality through a biblical lens. Research seems to indicate Christians do not possess a comprehensive and cohesive biblical worldview.

In 2009 The Barna Group conducted a study called, Barna Survey Examines Changes in Worldview Among Christians over the Past 13 Years, which revealed astonishing factoids, such as – “Only 9% of all American adults have a biblical worldview”, and “among born again Christians, less than one out of every five (19%) had such an outlook on life.”[ix] Now, you can begin to grasp the American Christian dilemma. In other words, Christianity in America is floundering to influence and shape culture? Other critical facts of the same survey reveal, “Varying numbers of Americans embrace the different aspects of biblical worldview thinking.” The survey found that:[x]

▪  One-third of all adults (34%) believe that moral truth is absolute and unaffected by the circumstances. Slightly less than half of the born again adults (46%) believe in absolute moral truth.

▪  Half of all adults firmly believe that the Bible is accurate in all the principles it teaches. That proportion includes the four-fifths of born again adults (79%) who concur.

▪  Just one-quarter of adults (27%) are convinced that Satan is a real force. Even a minority of born again adults (40%) adopt that perspective.

▪ A minority of American adults (40%) are persuaded that Jesus Christ lived a sinless life while He was on earth. Slightly less than two-thirds of the born again segment (62%) strongly believes that He was sinless.

Given these measurements, what optics emerge concerning the Christian believer? The truth concerning the state of our culture is found in the lack of belief in “absolute truth” even among Christians. In addition, the skepticism among the same group that Satan is a real entity is incomprehensible. These numbers should not only cause alarm among our church leaders but should also sound the alarm to rally around making Christ-centered disciples. We must go from a “Disneyland faith” to demonstrating a sound biblical faith, which is grounded on reality and truth. As believers, we cannot be ashamed of Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, and the central tenets of the faith once delivered to the all saints for every generation.

Now, let’s take a look at what I call a Transformative Worldview.

The 3 DNA Strands of a Transformative Worldview

Today’s leaders, who desire to have a drastic affect upon culture, must understand and consistently manifest the three DNA strands of a transformative worldview. The American version of our Christian faith is not working to transform culture. Therefore, we must go back to the foundations of our faith, grounded in the reality of the gospels, the historical narrative of the book of Acts, and the epistles written by the apostles. In my understanding, a comprehensive Christian worldview must instill a firm belief, power and the ability to transform culture. These strands of a Judeo-Christian worldview are demonstrated time and time again, commencing with the four Gospels, and continuing with the apostolic movement in the Book of Acts, and throughout key places and seasons in history. Today, the transmitters of this worldview should note these strands are deeply intertwined, much like a chord of three strands; each part producing a powerful synergistic affect translating to extraordinary results among individuals, society and culture at large. Here are a few samples:

‘And truly Jesus did many other signs [power] in the presence of His disciples… these are written that you may believe [instill belief] that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life [personal transformation] in His name.”
–John 20:30-31

This pattern was also a common during the early apostolic age:

“At Iconium Paul and Barnabas… spoke so effectively that a great number of Jews and Gentiles believed [grounding belief]… So Paul and Barnabas spent considerable time there [transforming a city], speaking boldly for the Lord, who confirmed the message of his grace by enabling them to do miraculous signs and wonders [power].”
–Acts 14:1 & 3

“Paul entered the synagogue and spoke boldly there for three months [grounding belief], arguing persuasively about the kingdom of God… This went on for two years, so that all the Jews and Greeks who lived in the province of Asia heard [a transformative message] the word of the Lord. God did extraordinary miracles [power] through Paul.”
–Acts 19:8, 10 & 11 (NIV)

As you can see, the dynamics of a transformative worldview are evident in scripture. Therefore, as Christian leaders, we must reassess our worldview and examine if we, ourselves, and, or our ministry is aligned properly to the biblical pattern. Does your ministry bring people into a personal and practicing faith? Does your ministry manifest power via signs, miracles and wonders where people are in awe of God’s majesty? Is His presence evident in your congregation, compelling a curious community to your doorstep on Sunday mornings and other gatherings? Is your ministry spreading its influence by transforming the local neighborhood, city and region? If you can answer, “yes” to all these questions, then you are operating within the bounds of a transformative biblical worldview. If not, then you must reassess your ministry, humble yourself and seek God’s face for His presence and power to be released upon your life and your ministry.

[i] Philips, Melanie (2010) The World Turned Upside Down – The Global Battle Over God, Truth and Power. Encounter Books, New York, New York.

[ii] Colson, Charles W. (2008) The Faith. Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI; pg. 68.

[iii] Ibid, pg. 68.

[iv] Philips, Melanie (2010), pg XII.

[v] Psalm 115:8

[vi] Giesler, Norman L. (2000) Encyclopedia of Christian Apologetics, Baker Book House, pg. 785.

[vii] Colson, Charles W. (2008) The Faith. Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI; pg. 28.

[viii] The Barna Group. Barna Survey Examines Changes in Worldview Among Christians over the Past 13 Years:, accessed 2-3-2013.

[ix] The Barna Group. Barna Survey Examines Changes in Worldview Among Christians over the Past 13 Years:, accessed 1-21-2013.

[x] Ibid: The Barna Group. Barna Survey Examines Changes in Worldview Among Christians over the Past 13 Years.

A Dating Checklist for Latinas

As a father of two Latina daughters I have had my encounters with young men who were of less character than I was expecting when they wanted to date my daughters. Now granted, we are talking about High School age youth, but at the same time you wonder if their parents where really parenting and shaping virtuous qualities into these young men. Over the years, with my own daughters and many other young Latina ladies from church and the Unknownworkplace, I have noticed that many Latinas struggle with Latino male selection. For example, I know of a Latina who has been married twice. She has mentioned a few times her regret in Latino male selection. When she looks back into her life, she questions herself; was it my immaturity or stupidity, or are all male Latinos self-centered with a sprinkle of Machismo? As a minister, I have seen many examples of pregnant, unmarried or uncommitted, Latinas and I wonder – where is their male counterpart? They are nowhere to be found. What happened with the male selection or discernment process of these young and naïve Latinas? After reflecting on many fronts about his subject matter I have identified five criteria Latina’s should consider placing on their checklist when dating or selecting a male companion. This first one is fundamental…

1. Is he working?
Perhaps you’re thinking – this guy is really insensitive to the Latino male struggle in finding employment in today’s economic topsy-turvy world. Not really! When you are selecting a male companion you must first consider is this man stable? One of the ways to do this is to work on your discernment skills by ask ing yourself a few questions:

a. Is he working?
b. Is he dedicated to his work?
c. Can he keep a job?
One thing is for certain, you don’t want to commit to a Latino male if he is not working or is constantly “in and out” of jobs. Why? It’s an issue of character, an unwillingness to learn from others and one who is not totally engaged and dedicated by keeping and maintaining a job.

2. Is he a moral and ethical man?
The second item on your checklist is simple – Is this man honest and sincere? If you desire an immoral and unethical man you will have marital problems of huge proportions down the road. The reason for this is when times get tough, your man will cut corners, compromise and cheat to meet an end. Is this the type of boyfriend or husband you want? Perhaps, but I would rather place my money toward your more intellectual side of male selection.

3. Does he know where he is going?
The third item of your checklist is simple – does your man know where he is going? What I mean is, has he found purpose for his life? Does he possess vision for himself and the route he will be taking for his life? A person who has purpose has one distinguishing quality absent from other males – he is confident in whom he is (identity), and the direction he is going (destiny driven)? When challenged he confidently states his opinion and sticks with it, regardless of the backlash. Another test is the test of passion. Vision and purpose energizes a man with passion. When a man lacks passion, you know he is also deficient in self-confidence and life purpose.

4. What does he do on his spare time?
I asked a Latina female friend of mine one day – what did you do this weekend? She responded in emphatic tone saying, “Nothing!” I responded, “You had two whole days to do something. C’mon, you had to have done something worthwhile.” She paused and said, “My fiancé watched football all day on Sunday, and he was too tired on Saturday to do anything.” I thought to myself, “And you intend to marry this man?” Now, when I see her on occasion I am noticing a bit of unhappiness, emptiness and a deep longing for affection. I understand that we need rest and relaxation but not at the expense of developing relationship. I would suggest that you find a man who loves a balance between recreation as well as retreating… with you!

5. Is he spiritually attuned and aligned?
Finally, unless you are given to the nightlife, “clubbing” scene and the uncommitted male relationship, I would suggest that you find a man who is spiritually attuned and aligned with the values you desire to see in yourself and eventually your children. I have witnessed too many Latinas committing themselves too soon to a man, blinded by love, making decisions they will later regret. This blindness makes them hang onto their significant others “words” that they are Christian/Catholic or spiritually engaged. When the time comes for spiritually engagement or substance, it is missing miserably.

I know I have been tough in these five recommendations… I have a few more that will address on another blog post. However, I have also witnessed countless of Latina lives destroyed by wrong male selection. I would hope Latino fathers are teaching their daughters by being examples of what long-term relationships should look like.

Nevada, Esta listo para la Reforma Migratoria? by Kathia Pereira


El Lunes y Martes (28 y 29 de Octubre) mas de 600 lideres conservadores de nuestro país llegaron a las puertas de nuestros congresistas de la cámara de representantes para urgirles que pases la ley de Reforma Migratoria.  Un paso histórico del movimiento conservador de nuestro país que levanto la voz en favor de aquellos que no tienen voz porque están indocumentados o viviendo fuera de nuestras fronteras.

Este gran esfuerzo pro inmigrante suplico no solo por la legalización de los mas de 11 millones de indocumentados viviendo dentro de los Estados Unidos sino también por medidas que mejores nuestro alicaído sistema migratorio. Específicamente, nuestros lideres conservadores pidieron por visas para la agricultura, los trabajadores de mando medio, trabajadores especializados, profesionales y por fronteras seguras donde sepamos a ciencia cierta quienes viven dentro de nuestro país.

Nevada estuvo representado por diferentes sectores de nuestra población desde el sector de comidas y bebidas, el sector medico y el de tecnología. Pero lo mas importante fue la representación de nuestros lideres de fe de la iglesia evangélica que con mucha humildad pidieron por la dignidad y el respeto para aquellos que no tienen voz pero que han contribuido con nuestra gran nación.

Nuestra delegación se reunió con el congresista Amodei, el senador Heller y representantes del senador Reid y el congresista Heck.  Las puerta se abrieron siempre con el mismo clamor: Estamos listos para la Reforma!  Y nuestros representares contestaron con la misma respuesta: “Nosotros también estamos listos”. Es un hecho que todos los representantes del congreso del estado de Nevada y nuestros senadores están de acuerdo en que necesitamos una reforma migratoria.  Nuestros senadores y representantes entienden el gran impacto positivo que la reforma migratoria traerá a nuestra economía, seguridad nacional y nuestra sociedad en general.

Sin embargo, nuestros representantes no pueden votar por la reforma migratoria a no ser y hasta que el líder máximo de la cámara de representantes, el congresista Boehner, no introduzca cualquiera de los proyectos de ley de inmigración al pleno del congreso y los someta a votación. Aparentemente, se necesita un milagro para que el Sr. Boehner tome esta decisión. Yo creo en los Milagros  nuestra gente se los merece.

No hacer nada no es una opción. Nuestro país ser merece que nuestros representantes actúen de acuerdo a los valores conservadores de los padres de la patria. La reforma migratoria no es un tema político, es una necesidad. Podemos realmente decir que somos “una nación de Dios” cuando podemos tener una sub. clase de seres humanos que pueden ser victimas de abuso y explotación? Podemos realmente decir que somos una “nación de Dios” cuando nuestros propios niños viven con la ansiedad de no saber si sus padres serán deportados y sus familias separadas? Este es el momento en que nuestros hombres y mujeres de fe deben declarar en alta voz que somos una nación de Dios y que todos los seres humanos en esta nación, documentados e indocumentados son hijos de Dios.

Nuestros representantes están listos para la reforma migratoria. En este preciso instante necesitamos orar por la reforma migratoria para que Mr. Boehner les permita votar.

Kathia Pereira

La licenciada Pereira es abogado de inmigración en Las Vegas, Nevada y lleva mas de 10 anos educando a la población hispana acerca de las leyes de inmigración a través de los medios masivos de comunicación es esta ciudad.

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Nevada, Are You #Ready4Reform? by Kathia Pereira

On Monday and Tuesday (10/28-10/29) more than 600 conservative leaders showed up at the doors of our House Representatives to urge them to pass Immigration Reform Legislation. A very important move from the conservative leadership of this country who decided to speak up on behalf of those who have no voice because they are undocumented.

The big push for immigration reform began not only for the cry of legalizing more than 11 million undocumented individuals currently living inside the U.S. but also for legislation that will improve the current broken immigration system. Specifically, our conservative leadership asked for agricultural visas, general skill visas, and high skill visas for professionals and secure borders that will allow us the certainty of knowing who is living inside the U.S.

Nevada was represented by many sectors of our population, from the food industry to medical and high tech. Most importantly, faith leaders represented Nevada from the Evangelical churches and with great humility asked for dignity and respect for those who have no voice but who have contributed to our great nation in many ways.

Our delegation met with Congressman Amodei, Senator Heller, and representatives of Senator Reid and Congressman Heck’s offices. Doors opened to the same greeting:
We are ready for reform! and all of our representatives answered: “We are ready too”.  It is a fact all of Nevada’s House representatives and Senators agree in the need for Immigration Reform. All of our senators and representatives understand the positive impact immigration reform will bring to our economy, national security and society as a whole.

However, our House representatives cannot issue their votes for immigration reform unless and until the House Speaker, Mr. Boehner, will introduce any of the existing immigration bills for a vote. Apparently, a miracle is needed for Mr. Boehner to take a stand on Immigration Reform. I believe in miracles and our people deserve them.

Inaction is not an option. Our country deserves to act according to the great conservative values of our founding fathers. Immigration Reform is no longer a political issue, it is a moral issue and a necessity. Can we really claim to be “One nation under God” when we have a sub class of human beings that may be victims of abuse and exploitation? Can we call ourselves “One nation under God” when our own children suffer the anxiety of not knowing if their parents will be deported and their families separated? It is time for all men and woman of faith to declare with loud voices that we are  “One nation under God!”, and all of our people documented or undocumented are people of God too.

Our representatives are ready for reform but they cannot vote. At this very moment we need to #PrayforReform that Mr. Boehner will allow a vote to come to the House floor.

Kathia Pereira is an Immigration Attorney, and a well-known immigrant advocate in Las Vegas. She has dedicated the last 10 years to educate the Hispanic immigrant community about immigration laws and their consequences.

You can follow Kathia on social media:
Facebook: Inmigracion al dia-Lic. Kathia Pereira
Twitter:  @lic_kp